Rest without feeling guilty
After a day where I've been psychically and socially alert, I feel both spent and fulfilled. Some days I have a full 30-gallon tank of gas, others I'm running on E. The tricky part is understanding each day has a different capacity level.
Lately, I've been challenging myself with daily tasks: daily blog posts, daily doodles, daily meditation, daily dream documentation, daily streaming (we got to 4 days in a row before I canceled tonight's stream), the list goes on.
Making something small enough to be done daily has been rewarding and yet challenging for my neurodivergent brain. I'm really proud to report this post is Day 92 of my 100 days of blogging challenge. Part of me believes I'll just keep going after that 100 day mark. Personal blogging has been so soothing and expansive for me – why would I stop?
But after a day like today, where I have been psychically and socially alert and engaged for most of the day, I feel both spent and fulfilled at the same time. The reason why I canceled tonight's stream (mirroring how I canceled last weekend's TikTok Lives) is to honor my need for rest.
As renewed and ready for action as I am, there are pitfalls to plummet into and many cliff ledges to fall off of (think of The Fool tarot card) if you're not mindful of where you step.
Fortunately, I have enough experience to mostly recognize when to take another step forward or when to rest and reassess.
I walked through my meetings and meet-ups today, collected myself when I got home, and felt my body say: hey, take it easy tonight, yeah? A lot has happened today, can we sit with it, re-ground, and anchor ourselves to the dock instead of sailing out again so soon?
Don't get me wrong, returning to streaming has been SO joyous for me. Embracing them again has felt so natural and liberating. But I can't summon energy out of thin air – when there's no gas left in the tank, I have to refuel.
The tricky part is understanding that each day has a different capacity level – some days I have a full 30-gallon tank of gas, and others I'm running on E, just enough to take care of the essentials.
I view my daily challenges as a way of training my energy hardiness – to steadily increase my energy levels. Eventually, I hope to execute with more consistent frequency. To be honest, it's already working, this daily blog is a testimony to that.
It's all exciting but you also know what's exciting? Getting to the part where you can rest without feeling guilty.
So that's what I'm going do now.
Love you, take care of yourself, and rest up. The world needs us!
Thanks for being here.
Sincerely,
Nadine of the New Moon ♥