From analysis paralysis to creative freedom

Hi daily blog,

Welcome to my second post on this new daily blog section. If you're perusing and found yourself here, please know these words are happy you found it.

I'll be honest, I'm judging myself way too hard on what I should write here. Questions arise, like, "what will people think of me, my free-floating thoughts, my abstract doodles – will it discredit me or dissuade people from connecting with me? Should I just tuck my tail and run back into the shadows?"

The truth is, I need to challenge myself with what I create and publish it without expectation. If I'm worried about the pressure and meeting certain standards on mainstream social media, then my "official" site should be free from those constraints.

I've had good practice in writing openly through my other blogging projects, so why not transfer that same courage to my main hub? This website, newmoonnadine.com, might not have much yet, but over time, it'll build a collection of daily blog posts and it will evolve just as I do.

Will I always create an abstract doodle and add it is a cover photo, like in today and yesterday's post? That seems questionable and unsustainable, but it would be a cool challenge to add onto my daily blogging. Plus, it'll give me reason to keep experimenting with the Procreate app on my iPad. With enough practice, I'm certain I'll develop a style I'll be proud of. But the trick is to enjoy the process and to be proud of your efforts wherever you are during your journey.

That's exactly what I'm returning back to each time I write a daily blog post – the joy of the present phase – no matter where I'm at. Daily blogging is a meditative practice that is both rejuvenating and empowering. The words keep finding me and I keep marking them down. There's nothing that the words want besides to exist. Who am I to imprison them, to keep them trapped in the ether? Liberating them brings me satisfaction and fulfillment.

If the words want to be birthed, I must be a willing doula. If doodles and colors desire expression, I must allow it to take form. It seems to me the work of being an artist is to listen and to accept that there are frequencies, vibrations, sensations, whispers, and shouts that are happening all at once, awaiting for something or someone to escort them to their destination.

In similar fashion, in reading tarot, the cards also chatter and have their own messages to relay. In order to deepen, we must be willing to listen and receive. We must be willing to adapt and to let go. What we think of as truth may change dependent on the angle it is viewed in.

My daily blog and doodles may be brave for someone who is afraid to be themselves out loud, but to some, it might come off as naive. To those same people, vocalizing opinions and expressing creativity is nothing to write home about unless it generates some sort of attention or success.

A totally different group of people would view creativity and 'art' hobbies as an entire waste of time, they might call it unproductive or boring. All of these can be true at the same time, each group has their views. No wonder getting billions of people to agree on any one thing becomes impossible.

This has been my conundrum: contemplating each possible group and how to meet in the merry middle to satisfy all parties. Also known as perfectionism, and also a great way to develop crippling anxiety and debilitating depression (hi to those who relate).

Having access to the internet and social media only exacerbated this problem of constantly considering more perspectives and viewpoints to the point where I became frozen – indecisiveness evolving into analysis paralysis.

This all takes me back to my primary reason for daily blogging: giving myself permission to have my own opinions, to explore my own creativity, spirituality, and whatever curiosities awaken within. My takes are also true and right, not only to me, but to people who relate to me. There are groups of people who personally understand these struggles because they are not unlike their own. Perhaps these people had similar upbringings, challenges, and coping mechanisms.

The driving force of humanity is to connect. But perhaps the purpose of life is connection. Some people name this as Unity Consciousness – that we are all part of one entire being and that all opposing forces, feelings, and perspectives are needed for there to be balance in this universe.

Whatever you call it, or wherever you are on the scale of relate or don't relate to my words, I hope you reach this similar conclusion: we are never alone. We are always connected. When I am lonely, I recognize I am isolating myself from the inherent community that needs me as much as I need them.

So however you find your connection, your community, your purpose, your fulfillment – I wish you well and aim to create an eternal well of hope. It is my hope that if my faith is wavering, that I can turn back to these posts to cheer me on. Perhaps they can cheer you on, too.

That's all I have to write for this post today, but I'll be here to write more tomorrow.

Thanks for being here.

Sincerely,

Nadine ♥