Devastating and miraculous at the same time

Hi daily blog,

I’m writing from my phone, on my meditation cushion and yoga mat.

My journey of embodiment and wholeness means returning to restorative and energizing practices when life gets harder. (Somehow, life is pesky and oscillates to this mode so easily.)

In the past, I opted for dissociation and coping with binge watching or binge eating. Instead of turning inwards, I looked at routes to escape the trauma, the pain, the suffering. This usually is done in full isolation save for the few kind souls who checked in every now and then. (I am grateful for every single check-in.)

No matter how well you avoid, you can’t run forever. This is where I’m at — accepting and surrendering that I have no choice but to look inward. To meditate, journal, reflect, to observe the thoughts and world within and around me. To restore sensation in my body through yoga awareness. To move and dance and stimulate my cells through music and sound healing so they can keep regenerating.

I want to keep going. The path is hard. The suffering is endless. But I also understand joy and inspiration can happen simultaneously. It’s beautifully tragic how life can be all the things at once. Devastating and miraculous at the same time.

Today, I feel devastated. But I also feel miraculously resilient. This too shall pass, and the only way out is through. Like I said yesterday, I will not relent. I don’t know what it is. Despite how I ache, hope keeps me going. I don’t refuse my hope, so I won’t give up.

Tomorrow will be a better day.

Thanks for being here,

Nadine of the New Moon ❤️