Daily devotions are changing me

I'm curious about how this daily devotion to writing informs all other areas of my life. When you approach anything with consistency and care, it inevitably becomes embodied, right? Once a habit or belief is integrated, it naturally influences your energy. The energy you exude is a magnetic force — it either attracts or repels.

How does your energy attract what you want more of and repel what you are incompatible with? How do you energetically align with the life you desire?

People often emphasize "it's all about your intention", but setting specific and clear intentions has become something of a lost art. When I was first instructed to set an intention whether it was a yoga class or a meditation session, I often wondered: "well, what are my options?"

Without clear options, I'd default to reading my environment for cues — a habit formed by learning to prioritize the family unit over my individual needs. This phase of my life, anchored by my daily writing, is to better understand myself and what desires, needs, requests, live within me.

It isn't uncommon to suppress emotions and desires if it meant receiving more love and approval from parents or caregivers. But when you've spent years prioritizing others' expectations over your own needs, how do you even begin to know what you actually want?

Reflecting on my Yin Yoga session last night, I realized how little I know my own body. Twisting and holding challenging poses, my body was shaking and I was questioning why I was wringing it out like a wet T-shirt.

This moment invited me to breathe more mindfully and to listen — to really listen — to what my body was communicating. In past difficult situations, I often reacted by physically fleeing the scene, or if that was impossible, dissociating.

My body was signaling it wanted company — to be witnessed through the joy and the suffering of the present moment. I set my thoughts aside and heard my body's quiet requests. Its non-verbal language came through like a gentle plea: stay with me through this.

Suddenly, a visual of my body and all its organs and cells came to mind. I was captured in awe with how intricate my body's systems are and how hard they work to keep me alive and functioning. It became clear that the least I could do was give it the attention and gratitude it deserves. I reassured my body that I would be here with it. And I promised I would do so more often.

Today, I woke up dancing and grooving — I'm incredibly grateful to be alive. Also, I bawled my eyes out at the wonderful Filipino representation and music by Ruby Ibarra on Tiny Desk. Hearing her voice, seeing her strength, reminded me that I want to celebrate my body and my voice more often and more openly.

After all, my existence is a testimony of my family and my ancestors' strength — shouldn't I be proud of my body, my resilience, my aliveness? I am their blood and their heart and their hope. I carry their pain but also their courage and determination for a better future.

Even if I'm struggling with chronic health issues, even when I'm just beginning to learn how to be in relationship with myself, I can still smile, laugh, and be joyous. When I practice my daily writing or stay with my body through both joy and discomfort, the question changes from 'am I doing this right?' to 'am I here with myself?'

Each day I write, each time I stay with my body through whatever arises, I can't help but feel I'm connecting to the terrifyingly powerful being within that opens doors that were previously locked shut. And with each day, I see something previously unseen. I hear something previously unheard. I sense things that have previously eluded me.

This is how daily devotions are changing me. By deepening my awareness, by deepening my listening, by steeping into presence and forgoing performance. Maybe energetic alignment isn't about having 'perfect' intentions but instead about showing up with curiosity and care, again and again, day after day.

Write back tomorrow.

Thanks for being here.

Sincerely,

Nadine of the New Moon ♥